Choose a Girl

When we look past the kinkiness, we may find there’s more to dirty talk than our desire to bring out our wild side. Talking the talk is a huge part of a healthy sex life. Chatting about everything from likes and dislikes to fantasies and exciting future plans.

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• According to a 2020 survey of over 4,000 adults, 91% of participants said they have fantasized about a partner talking dirty to them.
• Filthy talk seems fun to some, whereas it is a daunting task to other people, but with a bit of practice, you can surely master the art of talking dirty to your boyfriend.
• “Sharing this material can increase not only arousal, but intimacy and closeness as they learn more about each other’s sexual wants and needs,” she explains.
• If the idea of group play piques your interest, sexting can be a safer way to start exploring that, too.
• “Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better.”

“I want to reassure people that you don’t need to be a master, and that feeling silly in sex or laughing is sometimes all part of the fun,” says Lovegood. If you want this kind of talk to bear fruits- get the timing right. Most people find dirty talk embarrassing due to the already filthy definitions given in porn movies and other platforms. I was a little nervous about initiating dirty talk with my partner, but I was determined to initiate something new. So I decided to ask him about it and how he felt about it. The discussion helped us develop a game plan, phrases, and words we could use during the dirty talks.

If you’re video chatting

Just communicate exactly what happened or what you’re feeling and ask for what you want (or need) to happen next. Combine the below sexting examples to craft the sexiest virtual sex convo you or your partner(s) have ever had. Over text, as opposed to IRL, you have the gift of time. Time to draw out the sexperience, and time to get creative in what you say.

From Our Partner

There is an immense sexual power inside of you that your man is drawn to like a moth to a flame. If you give yourself permission to intentionally access it and play it up, he’ll melt like butter in the palm of your hand. But understanding his specific erotic hot-buttons will allow you to tailor your approach. If you are doing a role play, these incorporated props can be used here too. “For example, if the scenario involves ice play, ask your partner to have a cup of ice ready for directions. When you get to the part of the scene where ice will be used in the scenario, you can ask them to put the ice on them,” says Hauser.

If you aren’t sure that your partner will be into dirty talk, try it once or twice casually during sex to see what their response is—you might be surprised. You can also ease into it by writing them suggestive text messages or dirty love notes that you can slip into their pocket or bag for them to discover later on. If you get a positive response, you can take things up a notch and extend the dirty talk to the bedroom. Bear in mind that everybody responds differently to language, and so while a word might be a real turn-on for one person, it could be jarring for another. Take note of how your partner responds to what you’re saying and use that to guide what else you say. There are plenty of lists online there with sexy phrases you can use during sex to up the dirty talk.

Well, if that’s the case with you, then you really need to do something about it and learning some dirty sex talk may do the trick. We all know that every relationship fades with time and becomes frustrating and traumatizing. We feel restricted, bored, and lack interest in each other. But that situation can be easily avoided if you are willing to put a little effort into your relationship to bring back romance and charisma.

They’re taboo enough that you wouldn’t say them around your boss, but they’re also not disrespectful or clinical, which is exactly the tone you should be going for. There are few lines in music that bring me as much joy as, “Pussy so good I bought her a pet,” from the brilliant lyrical mind of Jason Derulo. No woman wants to be thinking about pet care while having sex. While the song is supposed to be an ode to talking dirty, from top to bottom it’s full on ridiculous.

This can be a great time to get to know your partner better. It’s about making them feel like they are the only person in the world. It’s about asking for what you want and then telling them how great they are.

Trying to come up with that perfect line might distract you way too much from the current situation, and can make you feel a little bad about your abilities to conjure words like a sexual spell. Also, Horn says, “Don’t be afraid to be super literal in your dirty talk, especially when you’re getting over the initial hump (so to speak) of the social anxiety, figuring each other out, freezing up.” If your partner is using words or phrases that don’t work for you, be gentle in how you let them know. Pay attention to the words and phrases your partner is using and adopt them if you’re comfortable. You can share each other’s word banks or just incorporate what’s affirming versus what’s off-limits into natural conversation.